iWill Never Leave You
by Hayden G. Olivia
Summary: "Why do you care, Puckett?" "Because…because those things…they're only on your arm—wrist—because of what I did to you." Seddie.


**So, I was bored and decided to take a break from my other two fics—"Saving Cat" (Victorious) and "The Story of Us" (iCarly); go check them out if you haven't yet!—and I decided to write a quick little fic right now. Sorry if this seems like pointless rambling, but I was bored, like I said earlier. Tell me what you think by clicking that review button, please! :)**

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><p><em>~iWill Never Leave You~<em>

He's sitting there, laughing merrily at something Gibby is saying, his brown eyes glimmering, his white teeth sparkling. The only odd thing is that, although summer had just begun, he is wearing a long-sleeved undershirt. Besides that, it seems to the average person like nothing is wrong—until he begins to fidget with his wrist. It's barely detectable, but I spot it. His smile disappears for a second. The glimmer in his eyes are gone. They come back about a second later, but a second too late. All the pain that I've caused him has been shown. I thought that he was just going to stop making eye contact with me after what I did to him, but it's much worse than that now.

I have to catch up to him, talk to him. I _need_ to do this and let him know that I did not truly mean to hurt him.

*~O~*~O~*

"I'm not going to listen to what you have to say, Samantha."

"But it's important! It's about…_your wrists._" I whisper these last two words, afraid that someone, somewhere, is eavesdropping. I don't want to do Freddie any more damage than what I have already done. Realizing what he has said, I cringe. _Samantha._ He barely ever calls me Samantha; only when he is extremely angry with me. "Don't call me that."

"Why do you care, Puckett?"

"Because…because those _things_…they're only on your arm—wrist—because of what I did to you." I look down at the floor, ashamed, and he crouches down slightly, his brown eyes looking intensely into mine. The glimmer is not there—in fact, all I can see is pain, hatred, disgust… I know I deserve all this, but I can't look at it all anymore. I feel like running away, never to turn back, leaving Freddie to go on his way and have a wonderful life with Carly—

But I know that he won't. That dreadful night told me that all the feelings he had ever had for Carly were just fake, a part of the game we had played throughout junior high and high school, up until that moment when he…when he…

I look up at Freddie again. He doesn't look as angry anymore, as spiteful, as disgusted. As a matter of fact, he looks sad. Sad for the girl who broke his heart about a month ago. I wonder how he can possibly have pity on me, as any moment that I'm upset should be a wonderful moment for him.

"Samantha."

He's still calling me by that dreaded full name of mine—the one that makes me feel weak, small and pathetic, the name that I gave up being called by when my parents were involved in their first fight, and got me involved. I grind my teeth now, regaining my strength.

"A month ago, I kissed you and told you I loved you, but you…well, you know what you did," began Freddie, trying to keep calm but letting a bit of anger slip amongst his words. I can't blame him, though. He's doing extremely well in trying to keep calm, which I admire about him.

"Yes, I know what I did and I'm sorry, Fred—"

"Listen, Sam: I've been cutting my wrists for about a month now. You probably don't know it, but Jonah and Pete—yes, your ex-boyfriends—also cut their wrists. Anyway, you've noticed that I've been fidgeting with my wrists and you've probably known that I've gone down to cutting, but why only confront me about it _now,_ Sam? A whole month after realizing? Why now?"

Tears are prickling. I wipe them off my face furiously, angry that Freddie is seeing me cry. I seem like such a wimp: I'm crying because I've made Freddie live with such pain, just _thinking_ about all I've done has made my eyes water… But here stands Freddie, not shedding a tear even though he is the one that has actually been hurt. He should be the one crying now, but instead he embraces me in his arms.

It feels weird. When we were dating it felt extremely comfortable, like something natural, but now… I push away aggressively and snap, "Get off, Freddork." Freddie's face falls, and I know I haven't made anything better for us.

Ever since I rejected Freddie's suggestion that we start dating again, he's changed. He stopped going to the gym, but instead decided to eat and stop exercising. He hasn't gotten too bad, but you can see his stomach's protruding just a _little_ in fat and his muscles do not show as much. As it turns out, Freddie had started shaving a while ago, but as I can see now he's completely given up on it and has a goatee. There are bags under his eyes and I know it's because he's been having nightmares (his mom mentioned it to Spencer one time when I was at Carly's house and eavesdropping on the conversation), possibly about me. He doesn't bother with his hair anymore either, and leaves it wild and messy from tossing and turning around as he has his continued nightmares. This transformation, I know, is all my fault, and I can never forgive myself for what I have done to him, but I had feared another fight, another breakup…

"I was scared, okay?"

Freddie seems taken aback by this remark but recovers almost immediately.

"I was scared of any fights, any breakups; you realizing I wasn't right for you; you going back to Carly; me all alone, without you; I was terrified that any of these things might happen, Freddie, and I didn't want to risk it all…"

Freddie squeezes me again, and this time it doesn't feel uncomfortable or forced; if anything, it feels relaxing, calm and natural. I don't push him away, but hug back, and I know exactly what Freddie is trying to say in this single hug: _"I will never leave you, Sam…we may have fights and we may breakup, but I will always come back to you and find a way to keep us together through thick and thin…"_

And I know he means every word of what he's saying, because I've never been involved in so genuine a hug all my life.

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><p><strong>You've read it, so now review it! Thanks! :)<strong>


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